aftermath of a driving test...

空氣漸漸的凝結
重複著將我破碎
一再的試探詭辯
想考驗誰的極限 (tried to siam kerb...)
不再容忍你的罪 揮手再見 (immediate fail!)
終結掉你的一切 (back to school!) >:O

我看不見 你說的"路边" ("kerb!!!")
"我不在乎 你的感覺" ("nervous or not still must drive!!!")
"你的抱歉 是最後的紀念" ("don't say sorry to me le...")
乱来的司機 倔强的了结 T_T

"這一切 早就該 停止掉淚" ("HMPH!") >:(
"這一切 早就該 停止受罪" ("dangerous!!!")
"說空了所有的give way" ("MOTOR!!!!")
"拆穿你所有的謊言" ("need to improve my driving!!!")

空氣漸漸的凝結
重複著將我破碎
這一天 我的skills 不再兌現 (so nervous!!!) >_<
這一天 我的skills 灰飛煙滅 (cannot concentrate!!!) T_T
所有回憶都要摧毀 (forgot everything!!!)
還給你的都要加倍 (turn steering never do anything strike kerb AGAIN!!!!)

我看不見 你說的"路边" ("kerb!!!")
"我不在乎 你的感覺" ("nervous or not still must drive!!!")
"你的抱歉 是最後的紀念" ("don't say sorry to me le...")
乱来的司機 倔强的了结 T_T

撞到路边 熄火祭天 (skill up lorry already...)
单上字眼 一片漆黑 (62 POINTS!! lots of remarks!!)
残酷邊緣 冒险终结 (why kerb why!? FAILLLLLL!!!!!)
斷油 拉brake...


我看不見 你說的"路边" ("kerb!!!" Mirror TOO HIGH!!!)
"我不在乎 你的感覺" ("nervous or not still must drive!!!")
"你的抱歉 是最後的紀念" ("don't say sorry to me le...")
乱来的司機 最後倔强的了结 T_T



N.B nothing here is from the instructor's mouth...except "back to school" wor...


will try again on 18/02/2011 :D

把愛放開

當你開始追尋你要的自由
放開我們緊握的手 帶走我的愛和天空
我不知所措 我以為我滅 我們的愛 我們的愛

當我獨自走到時間的盡頭
回憶和我擦身而過 帶走你的愛和笑容
我無力承受 最後的一點心痛 我們的愛 我們的愛

把愛放開 把手放開 如果你的心已不在
把愛放開 不再等待 你的溫柔是一片空白
把愛放開 把心打開 這次我決定走出回憶重來
就讓我徹底地傷 再徹底地醒過來

終於明白愛已不再
從今以後再也沒有什麼能去依賴
我還有什麼期待

把愛放開 把手放開 如果你的心已不在
把愛放開 不再等待 你的溫柔是一片空白
把愛放開 把心打開 這次我決定走出回憶重來
就讓我徹底地傷 再徹底地醒過來

thank you. 190810 - 220810.

Faith for the unfaith

There are definitely people in your life that does not share the thoughts as you. What you think is correct may be doubtful to others. What you think is wrong could be correct for others. I'm not saying about what is right or wrong, but rather, this is on different views of things of different people. Some may think that stealing food to feed yourself when you're hungry is wrong. Some think otherwise. But when things don't work out to be what they want to be, could your opinion of things help them ?

Exodus 30:7 (Amplified Bible)
And Aaron shall burn on it incense of sweet spices; every morning when he trims and fills the lamps he shall burn it.

In the book of Exodus we see Arron tending to the altar everyday. This is like praying:

Psalm 141:2 (Amplified Bible)
Let my prayer be set forth as incense before You, the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice.

Aaron here, is a picture of us. Then there are the people who had ever offended God so much that He wanted to destroy them. God told Moses, His servant to get away from these people so that He can consume them, twice, in the same passage.

Numbers 16:20-21 (Amplified Bible)
And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron,
Separate yourselves from among this congregation, that I may consume them in a moment.

Numbers 16:44-45 (Amplified Bible)
And the Lord said to Moses,
Get away from among this congregation, that I may consume them in a moment. And Moses and Aaron fell on their faces.

These people knows something's up when Moses fell on his face again. And after witnessing the death of some of their friends the first time, they definitely knew something is happening the second time. But Aaron, this time, did something for them.

Numbers 16:46-48 (Amplified Bible)
And Moses said to Aaron, Take a censer and put fire in it from off the altar and lay incense on it, and carry it quickly to the congregation and make atonement for them. For there is wrath gone out from the Lord; the plague has begun!

So Aaron took the burning censer as Moses commanded, and ran into the midst of the congregation; and behold, the plague was begun among the people; and he put on the incense and made atonement for the people.

And he stood between the dead and the living, and the plague was stayed.

As Aaron stood in between the people with the incense, the plague stopped where he stood. Another way of looking at what Aaron did was he prayed for them and the death stopped. Aaron prayed for the people who did not believe in him and they got saved from their sin. Aaron had faith for them to get out of their situation. Aaron had hoped for them to be alive, and they did after he prayed.

We know of people who have difficulties in their life. Though they may not seem as serious as what had happened in Aaron's time, their problem is still a problem. They wish that they could solve it quickly and get on with their work. But not everyone goes through this having wonderful thoughts that it could be done. Some will even get depressed after some time. They had lost faith in helping themselves solve this problem. They lost hope. They stop trying. They might even had decided to live with the problem.

But we could make a difference. Like what Aaron did for the people in his time, we could pray for them and not by just pray, but have faith that they can pull it through. We can share what God has put in us to help those who are in need. All it takes is for both party to believe that your prayers is going to help him.

Moses believed that the incense will stop the plague. Aaron believed and acted upon it and the plague stopped.

All it takes is to believe. And to believe is to have faith.

The blessings of God are not limited to just Christians.

Acts 2:17 (Amplified Bible)
And it shall come to pass in the last days, God declares, that I will pour out of My Spirit upon all mankind, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy [telling forth the divine counsels] and your young men shall see visions (divinely granted appearances), and your old men shall dream [divinely suggested] dreams.

And so let us pray! Pray for our friend's situation, that they may receive wisdom and strength to solve their problem. Pray also that when they have conquered their problems, they will be stronger to face another challenge. Let them know that there is a God who listens to prayers and help those who believed.

In Liberty

When my soul is weak
I sing God strengthen me
When I find myself in need
I sing God rescue me
When my troubles overwhelm
I sing God bring your peace
Lord your one and only Son
Is all I ever need

Hallelujah
Your love has set me free
Hallelujah
By your offering
Our Father
In You I believe
Hallelujah
I stand in liberty

If my world comes crashing down
In Your love I'll be found
In this freedom I receive
Causes me to sing

I am free, free
All my chains are broken (x4)

Cuz' I'm free, free, free...

and He has never let me down...

to my ex church ex cellgroup member...

I still remember you.

I remembered that faithful day, I prayed for your nose to be healed. you didn't, and I started to have sinus for my trouble.

I remembered that when you faced problems, you talked to me. I was young and ignorant, so I gave a lot of wrong answers. I'm sorry...

I remembered I didn't show care and concern for you, when I somehow knew something's wrong and the following day I saw you and I sort of gave you a bad look.

I remembered after that day...you stop coming to church

I remembered that the others went to visit you, and you said "no time"

I remembered calling you, but you cut the line and changed your email address

I remembered SMSing you, even though I know you definitely won't receive it, saying that I'm sorry to you and I'm sorry for all the wrong things/impression I gave you

I remembered you...and many moments I thought of you...

how have you been ? how are you now ? are you happy ? are you in another church ? are you serving God still ?

I don't know how to express my apologies to you. I don't know how to encourage you then, I wish I had the chance to do it now.

I don't know if you still remember this blog. I had never changed the address.

I don't know how, I don't know when, but 1 day, when we meet on the street again, will I recognize you ? would you recognize me ? it's been 5 years, how much have you changed ?

please...give me a chance to talk to you, friend.

Arise & Build 1 2010

It began in march 2010, and I wasn't really prepared. But God is good.

I started to pour out money into other people's life. I gave a meal to one of my cellgroup member. I don't remember what else I gave to, but I emptied my pockets so that 1 day during Arise & Build when I needed money God will provide a way for money to come back to me. I didn't really care if it's a loan or it's a gift from a friend, even a stranger, but I trust Him. And God is good.

In April, the first "disaster" struck. Someone sabotaged me and with it my iPod. Nobody wanted to pay for the repairs and everything. I had to pay for it and even now I am still having troubles getting them all back. I still gave to the building fund and I had no lack. The iPod came back almost immediately (within 2 days) after I sent it for repair and paid them. Usually it will take about 1 to 2 weeks. God is good.

In May, it was Asia Conference. I had nothing after I pushed out my money to give. I was literally living on His word and promises. 1st day, I had borrowed money to get past the 5 day event. I ended up spending 30 dollars on the first day. 2nd day, I tried not to spend any money and minimize all expenditure. Out of pure faith and curiosity I checked my bank account. I had 58 dollars extra in my bank account. This extra boost from AVIVA actually last me throughout the rest of the conference. I had an extra 25 dollars from another insurance company too. Praise the Lord.

And now, June. I had no idea how I am going to fulfill my building fund. I foresee that I will lack about 120 dollars. I don't know how, but praise the Lord for the GST rebate coming in on 1st July. I thought this act of charity by the government had ended since we got hit by the economy crisis. Indeed, God is good. All the time.

Effort

Excellence. we love people with excellence. these people are the power cores of any organisation, and asset to the community and the people around them. but the sad thing is this, few people will understand the pain behind excellence - effort

to do anything you require some effort. some task that are simple will require little effort. some task that are easy to do yet hard to comprehend. but putting in effort is not enough. if everyone puts in the same amount of effort for everything that they do, no one will stand out of the crowd. to do excellent work you need to put in MORE effort than the usual required.

the problem is, you will not see the results immediately. you might be expecting words of appraisal from your superior but instead you get remanded for something wrong that you did before. you might have to wait a long time before your actions and hard work pays off. and thus you gave up.

you start to think that your hard work are really hard and you really gave it all out to make it a successful proposal, a resounding presentation, the best piece of homework you ever did and your tutor just leaves an "A" on your paper. you start to wonder why is everything so unfair and everything other people do just pass out as better than yours. some even grow envious of the "teacher's pet" and plot to sabotage him.

but hey, is that the only reason you're putting in effort for ? to be in the limelight ? to be called "the best" ? nothing is wrong with trying to do that. but doing things for the sake of recognition is dangerous to your mind. you'll start to crave for people to notice you. then as time pass by you'll become self-centered or think that only the things you do and the method you use is the best and everyone should follow you. you look down on other people. but that's not the end. you'll want to push yourself to be even more famous and ultimately make everyone know that you exist. you'll become even more self-centered and even more proud of your achievement that nothing exist in your eyes except you and the things you do.

but during the course of your quest to fame, how many people have you hurt ? how many people have you shamed so that you could step over them and be higher than they are ? how many friends have you lost ? how many evil words have you said to another so that they'll listen to you and lose their stand in an argument ? fame and statuses are only passing wind. they exist because you have friends and you want to impress your friends, but as a friend he/she has already accepted who you are and what you can do.

we put in effort because we want to do a little more for the benefit of others. we want people to know that we care and we want to help people. it might not be a need, but seeing someone putting in some effort to help make your job easier makes you feel happier. it makes your heart warm with gratitude and your mouth utter the word "thanks". you start to feel that you're not alone doing your job.

when people start to see how you gave yourself for the benefit of others, they will recognize you as a helpful person. a person who knows more and shows more. a person who cared for their colleagues their friends their classmates enough to do something to ease their work, their burden or their homework.

and people who cared eventually will get fame and recognition by the people around them. then it spreads to the friends of the people around them. then it spreads and spread until everyone knows that such a good soul existed. because he never gave up on his friends when they are in need and he never gave up doing more so that others could do less.

got follower!! :D

hello my dear follower~ :D

LOL...

anyways here's something I got on Thursday night while I was going back to sleep in bunk:

everyone with faith will get something from God. Because God has promised. The question will be how much you'll receive from Him. How good it is will be how much are you keeping Christ's standards in your life.

Like the parable of the talents in the Bible, God gave us standards for us to achieve while living a life of obedience. We are to go out and use what God has given and invest them. There was no specific instructions given to how should the servants use the money they had received from the master but they are held responsible for it.

The hardworking servant did his very best and doubled his money.

The second servant, though not trusted with as much as the most hardworking servant, did his very best and came back with 4 talents.

The third servant was not as trust-worthy as the other 2 servants, so he received 1 talent. He was obedient to his master's words and was afraid to lose it all. He understands that the master demands only the best and he cannot afford to make any mistakes. He hid the money away and nothing else happened. He didn't even want to put the money in a bank so that the master would came back and see his money grow with interest.

The master came back and demanded to see the 3 servants. Of the 2 who worked, he praised them and gave them a promotion. Of the one who was so afraid that he might lose the money he remanded and drove him out of the house. He told the servant who play it safe, that it is a terrible way to live like that. If he knows that his master demands the best, the least he could do is to put it in the bank rather than hiding it underground.

All 3 servants kept their master's standard. We can see this by how they managed to have the original amount of money they had in the beginning. All 3 received something from him. However it was how much the standard was kept that managed to get them a promotion or a demotion.

To the one who kept the minimum standard he taught him that it is not right to live this way. Though he was cast out of his master's house, he was not beaten to death and that means when he sobers up, he could come back to his master's house and serve him again

To the people around me and in the immediate vicinity

From Jan 1 2010 till Feb 11 2010 and especially in Feb...if I did any form of harm, hurt or displease to you please forgive me

haven't really been myself ever since then...was a little cranked up during BMT...

Sorry for all the harm I've caused...

I realised something was amissed and took time to review and saw what really happened while I was running blind...but by now I hope it's not too late to send in my apologies


Once again...I'm sorry

reflections

Gratefulness
Being grateful to even the least of things people did or will do for you makes you happier, even though the outcome is not as optimal as you have expected. At the very least he did something to help you. Thank the person yourself, sincerely, or it will be like reading a letter of appreciation out loud for the person to hear

Expectations
Expect the best out of yourself. Don't do a job unwillingly. People could see the effort you put into it. If you know you cannot do it, at the least try, and do your best while you're at it

Kindness
Be kind to others and they will be kind to you. Help them if you can, but do not expect a reward for you kindness. Random acts of kindness will yield many friends

Leadership
Always lead by example. Do what you want others to do also. A leader is not up there, a leader will be with you every step of the way.

Love
It is not a weakness to show love for others. Love means care, to care for others like how you would care for yourself. Love people wholeheartedly and they will love you back. Be there when someone needs you and show support for the things that they do. Cheer people on and they will cheer for you

Hygiene
Always have deodorant. And always keep yourself clean. Keep everything clean.

do to others what you expect them to do to you. If you don't like certain things, avoid doing them or ending up in that state.

tough situations

tough situations makes you tougher

and tougher situation makes you mentally prepare for the worst

but that's not what it is supposed to be: worst

there's a very famous phase made by someone I couldn't find, "what can't kill you makes you stronger"

here's an example of how this "theory" works:
Bone's stronger after breaking

in life we definitely encounters tough situations where you say "it's the end" even though it's not

and these situations may even cause you severe mental pain or damage your relationship with others...but eventually it will be over. and when that happens...your minds gets stronger and able to take more. your relation ship with your friends your family your colleague gets stronger as you begin to understand them more

escaping from issues only prolong the pain involved. if you got a problem, you got a problem. running or denying the problem as a problem won't solve anything. it might make it even worst

using the previous example...let just say you broke your finger. you know that is a problem but because it's just your little finger and you are able to take the pain, you do nothing about it. you let it dangle there and tell everyone who asked that your finger is fine. you did not seek any medical treatment. 1 week later you discovered black spots appearing on your broken finger. you thought it was dirt and when you tried to wash it off it didn't. you couldn't feel your little fingers too. finally after 2 weeks you decided to see a doctor about it. the doctor told you that your finger has rotted due to no blood circulation and they have to amputate it. and guess what ? since your hand has been in contact with the rotted finger for so long...it was starting to rot too and they have to cut off your hand together with your finger!

what a waste of a good hand...if only you had seek help immediately when your finger is broken. you don't have to bear the pain for so long and you wouldn't have to cut it off.

in conclusion, don't run away from tough situations. it will strengthen you and your relationship with the people around it. most of these situations are not going to kill you and they only appear to be tough because of your anxiety and your mindset. change your perspective and the problem is not any bigger any other problems you faced before